I embarked on my new journey of being here in Texas, last July. I started apartment hunting a short three weeks later. I found many places online, but I narrowed my choices down to three options; one of those being a place my mom and I both agreed on. So I made a decision to go and look at the apartment after work. I remember looking at these beautiful apartments, and thinking to myself “I could never live here.” “This is too grand, I should start small.” I was so insecure, even after knowing it was nothing but God that brought me to Texas! Isn’t it crazy how we witness His Goodness over and over again, and still worry that He won’t come through?
That same day I filled out an application for residency. While going over the paperwork, I’m reminded of all these fees, deposits, the cost of rent, and the fact that they were gonna check my credit. At this point, I’m like “Lord, if I get this apartment, I’ll know it was nothing but You!” I was still so doubtful, but I left it in His hands. Two days, and no call later, I decide to build up the confidence to call them, because all I can think to myself is, they saw my credit, and was like “Oh no baby, what is you doing?” LMAO. So I gave the lady my information, and asked her if my application process was complete, and she says, “Oh yes, Ms. Hill, you’re approved! $0 deposit, $0 fees, and we’re also going to honor this month’s special for your move-in date in October!” (This was JULY’S special!) In complete shock and disbelief, I said, “Omg, are you sure you’re looking at the right account?!” Chile, I was thinking to myself “HOW???”
After signing my lease, and making everything official, there was a small part of me that wanted to ruin things by thinking “Girl, you didn’t work for this.” “What did you do to deserve this?” “Why was it so easy?” “You can’t accept that, go somewhere else!” But GOD’S voice stood TALL in me, saying, “I DID THIS. My Grace is sufficient. Trust Me. Don’t try and make sense of it.” Y’all, I could not stop crying and thanking Him. So often, we feel like we have to work soo hard or be extra Holy for God to even consider us! We feel like if we’re this much of a better person today than we were yesterday, maybe He’ll send us that blessing. All we have to do is ACCEPT and BELIEVE He is good! His goodness is not based on our ability to DO right. Just accept His love for you and believe that His grace ABOUNDS. His forgiveness EXCEEDS every sin we’ve ever committed, and will commit! You don’t have to DO anything for Him to BE God. He is God all by Himself. Step into His promises for you, without fear or worries of yesterday.
“For by GRACE you have been saved through FAITH. And this is NOT your OWN doing; it is the GIFT of God, not as a result of works, so that NO ONE may boast.”
Ephesians 2:8-9 (ESV)