A Note To Self:

I’ve said this before, but this time is different. I have spent way too much time living in the shadows of others; being who they wanted me to be, because it made them comfortable. I have spent most of my life staying in toxic, one-sided relationships and friendships, because I was afraid that if I’d be me, I’d lose them. There’s no loss when nothing is being gained! The season changed long ago, and you’ve got to go with it! I am no longer dimming my light so that yours can shine brighter. I am no longer dumbing myself down, so that you can relate to me. I am no longer growing an inch, but reverting back a whole mile just to keep you around! You’re slowing me down!

I AM NO LONGER INTERESTED.

I’m not in your corner, I have concerns of my own. I am no longer your convenience, your second choice, or your “go to!” No longer will you withdraw and make NO deposits when it comes to me! I’m ALWAYS something for someone else, but what am I FOR ME? I can no longer run to your rescue or solve all your problems, just to be left high and dry when I go through something of my own. I am no longer responding to people who want my energy in exchange for NOTHING. If all we share are struggles, pain, history, and heart breaks, you have to go, because I no longer desire to be connected to people who only speak to my brokeness.

ALL IT DOES IS KEEP ME THERE.

This year, I’m teaming up with people who not only speak my language, but hold me accountable for the things that I say. There’s no more making choices out of comfort or compatibility. This is who I am. Strength, structure, and PRAYER is what I have to offer, and if you can’t meet me where I am, then don’t disrupt my life. No, I can’t double back. No, I don’t want to reminisce; don’t even remind me! I’m not sorry. My growth means more.

I AM MOVING FORWARD.

Sincerely,

Self love.

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